We are going to go there. “Go where?”, you ask. THERE. The unveiled place. The naked place. The sex place…(hands fly to cover mouths as great big inhales of air sound out in alarming gasps, cheecks blush a crimson red, and my Catholic brothers and sisters make the sign of the cross). “Isn’t this a taboo topic for a Christian?”. It can be and sometimes is, but that’s the whole point in bringing it to the table. WHY is it taboo? WHY do we feel like the moment we have a sexual thought or inclination we have to grab the holy water and exorcise the “sin” right out of us?

For years (almost 14 to be exact) I saw sex as a very exclusive act that only belonged in the context of marriage. Anyone participating in sex outside of marriage was sinning big time and surely would not garner God’s favor until they repented and cleaned their act up. Because of this, any sexual thought or desire I felt was rebuked harshly and treated as a snare of the devil designed to entrap me. While I do believe that God has created healthy parameters in which we can safely express our sexual selves, I do not believe He meant for us to treat it as the unpardonable sin and deny that He created us as sexual beings.

Forgetting that we are made of mind, spirit, and BODY can cause much unnecessary guilt and torment when we experience very healthy and natural biological desires. At the same time, forgetting that we are made of MIND, body, and SPIRIT can cause much unnecessary emotional and spiritual pain and disconnect if we express our sexuality carelessly and treat it as a purely physical thing. So what is the answer? Just do it, or not?

To be honest, I don’t think that I can answer that for you, or you for me. As in many things, I think we need to humbly accept our humanity and acknowledge that we were created with a biological inprint to desire intimacy and sex. We were built for connection and both our chemical and neurological make-up proves this. Likewise, we can’t deny that we were created with emotions and a spiritual connection to God as well; exclusively connecting to one and not the other creates imbalance.

It saddens me that so many people are hiding away riddled by guilt and shame because of their very real human desire for sexual connection. Many are taught to just deny it versus finding healthy ways to discuss it. It also saddens me that many are hurting and wounded over not understanding the emotional and spiritual components that come along with their sexuality. Neither repression nor careless expression seem to be the answer.

So where do you land on this topic? Help us all out here and chime in with your thoughts below 😉


10 thoughts on “Just Do It… or not…

  1. I agree with you! I think we just need to follow our heart. God gives us capability to think of who we are, which could strech to that we could explore ourselves by emotional, spiritual and physical components. People deserve to experience sextual things to further define self.


    1. Thanks for the comment, Wayne! This is such a hard topic. It seems like if we say, ” To each his own…ANYTHING goes” we are approving the abuses and perversions that can come along with careless sexuality, but at the same time, to say that there is a hard and fast rule that it is only seen one way , seems dangerous too.


  2. Having a healthy sextuality is a good way to explore and enjoy being as a creative. But it also rises a concern about how to identify the the nature of the feeling in sextuality. Something are realy mixed and hard to be distinguished.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Wonder (and daring) post. 5 gold stars for being willing to broach the topic!

    It’s rather sad that, for so many, even having the most minuscule or fleeting thought of sex is seen as some weakness of faith (or purity) — as though being chaste is something that exists in ones’ mind. In reality, having a sexual thought is not, in and of itself, a sin. It seems to me that it’s how a person “follows up” on that thought, and what they do with it. I’m sure there are any number of great theologians and religious leaders who would consider me a heretic for saying that it’s really a matter of personal conscience — and subsequently can only be defined by anyone’s own personal relationship with God. After all, to “just do it — or not” is just another variation of “eat meat sacrificed to idols, or don’t eat meat sacrificed to idols.”


    1. As always Michael, I couldn’t have said it better. It’s like I start the thought, and you articulate it so well for me! LOL
      That’s exactly what I was getting at. I can’t judge another as being in sin in this issue, as I do not know their conscience and relationship with God. To put a hard and past rule on it seems short sighted and legalistic. I love that we are in a personal and intimate relationship with our Father and need to seek Him on all things pertaining to our lives and relationship with Him.


  4. Sex! Yes, please. 🙂 It has to be one of my favorite things in life, but I really want to address the when. You see, as a man of God, I have done it both ways; I mean to say that, I have waited until after marriage on the Honeymoon to consummate our relationship, and I have indulged in sex with the woman that would later become my wife before marriage, and in my experience waiting is way better!

    Lets not forget that sex was God’s idea, and everything God created was “good” prior to the fall. By design, it was meant by our creator to be a most special and wonderful thing for a man and woman to experience together in a consecrated relationship before God Himself. He is the ultimate Father that puts His daughters hand in the hand of the bridegroom, entrusting her life into his care, just as he brought Eve to Adam.


    1. Thank you for responding, Robust Days! I can definitely see the power in waiting. I do believe that to save yourself for the one that you are planning on sharing your earthly days with is powerful indeed. I wonder sometimes, though, if that always means certificated marriage. I believe it is the commitment and covenant with one another before God that matters most. Grant it, certificated marriage is proof to one another that each person means full commitment. That can be priceless to someone, and should be.


      1. “I wonder sometimes, though, if that always means certificated marriage.” — Such a great insight.

        As someone who is ordained, and has had the privilege of officiating a number of marriages, I am of the opinion that a “marriage license” does not a marriage make. Commitment is borne in a persons’ heart, not on an earthly document. I’ve known many a couple who — without a “legal” document — are more married than some who have the “piece of paper”, and vice versa. And, in the end, it still comes down to a persons’ conscience and their personal relationship with God.


      2. That’s such good insight, Michael. One of my favorite things about you is that you have the insight and ability to always bring things back to the heart. And that is exactly where it all belongs ❤


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